I Finally Figured out What is Happening to Medium…
Folks, I rarely write pieces on Medium. After all, Medium should be just that, a medium through which we channel our bright and big ideas for all to read. A simple channel. But I have been told by exclusive sources something different and Machiavellic took place at the Medium headquarters some months ago.
But this meeting was not like any meeting. According to reliable sources, this was a satanic event. This was the mother of all meetings where the brain of Medium was to be altered.
David Borgazio, a veteran media analyst from the Bronks: “What took place in there was barbaric.” Mr. Boargazio believes that the Medium algorithm has been raped. “this will have traumatic outcomes for readers and writers,” he asserted.
During this intercourse, a phone recording was made, and sources revealed it had just been leaked. Unfortunately, the sound was terrible, and little could be understood. Jean Lafitt, a French audio phonologist and expert in reconstructing lost recordings, has determined the following took place.
He claimed the nature of the meeting was secretive. It also had the objective of saving money or generating more of it. Something had to be done about too many people reading articles. At some point in the recording, we can clearly hear an angry executive slamming at the table: “The more they read, the more we have to pay!” It is not known in which context this could be inserted. Per David Borgazio: “A lot of people will be left empty-handed.”
After months of intense analysis of the recordings, now known as The Medium tapes, Jean Lafitt has compounded a dossier determining what had been decided in that horrific meeting and what changes were to occur. And to your delight, I have obtained a summary and will disclose it to you immediately. Let’s go straight to the point.
We now know the algorithm has been tampered with. It has been altered to read the comments only and not the articles. I knew it! Articles are behind the paywall, but comments are not. I have been suspecting this all along.
I’ve checked my stats, and they seemed OK. But when I see my article's stats, I realize no one is reading any of the articles. The stats come exclusively from the comments I make on other people’s articles! There you go, folks. The mystery has been cracked. But here’s what you can do. Don't give up.
First off, forget about the money. Comments are not behind the paywall. Get a job! But if you want your articles to be read and read the comments, which is a fun activity seldom seen these days — write your articles in the comment section!
Let’s get minimalist. No pictures or fancy formatting, and adding tons of quote paragraphs and pretty photos. Just deliver your killer dope writing in the comment section and become an instant hit. The writing page is for wimps. But how could you get a title for your article and add tags?
No problem. All you have to do is to write what you like, look for a similar article on Medium, and find a spot to highlight and make a comment. In that comment, you insert your article. Bang! Tons of views and praises.
If you are lucky enough to see this DOA article, you are part of a select elite of fortunate readers; others might never be able to see the important contents of this post. Your only hope is that the lousy patch that altered the algorithm may connect my article with those interested in reading it.
This just in: a never released part of the recordings has been found. Click here to find out the new exciting developments.
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Photo by Mikhail Nilov