Nothing could have prepared me for that — We’ve been married for years; I will not disclose it here because people start thinking things. She married me because I was funny, but lately, she doesn’t like my jokes. And I notice that something has changed between us. We are growing apart. What used to be so easy is…

Nothing would have prepared me for what followed — It all started when I needed to change a setting in my modem. I could use the app, but it wasn’t working. “You don’t have access to this account,” said a message in the app. That is preposterous. This was my account, and I paid for it. But I no…

I’m not sure at first why my wife was so angry at Helga — I’m unsure when it all began, but my urge to adopt a goat appeared out of nowhere. Baby goats captured me on the Internet and how silly and jumpy they were, but there was something else about goats. They reminded me of essential things; I didn’t know it then. When…

No one said it was going to be easy, but it is much worse — If you’re looking for the “how to stay young forever” quick fix listicle, you’re not going to find it here. This article is not for sissies that say getting old is not for sissies. A long time ago, a good friend said he wanted an easy life, so he became…

Before we can get to heaven, we must first go to hell — Everything in the US feels like sickness right now. Do you get that sinking feeling? When will the healing commence in America? Suddenly, there will be inspiration and better reasoning, and people will give up their hatred for one another. But before we can get there, there should be real…

It feels like going backward in time — This is my 5th trip to Europe. This time, Spain. But this country doesn’t exist as most people think. There are a few countries within Spain with different cultures and languages. I’m in the Basque region, and in this small country, people are happy. Why are people so happy? It’s…

Your heat exhaustion might not be what you are thinking — Keep hydrated; you’ve heard that a million times. But drinking too much water might contribute to another problem in extreme heat. I didn’t know that. But I found out the hard way. And temperatures keep rising yearly, and we discover we’re no longer in the warranty. We suddenly realize we…

Divine intervention prevented my fall into a hellhole vortex — Brazil in the early 80s was not the kind of place you wanted to be arrested on a desolate road outside of Rio de Janeiro. But in fact, let’s make it not a good place to be arrested — ever. Brazil was leaving a twenty-year military authoritarian regime. A semi-dictatorship…

He is not getting the treatment he deserves — Political motives are scattered throughout Mr. Trump's indictment, like when shit is tossed against a fast-moving fan. The crowds standing by with pitchforks and torches outside the castle are angry, and they chant, “GREATEST WITCH HUNT OF ALL TIME.” They are right because politics has no place in this momentous…